Missing You

It’s been almost a month since you left this earth. Almost a month since you took two falls that changed your life forever. I still question all the time, did you know something wasn’t right before it was too late?

How scared you must have been. To be talking, having a nap, lunch, wanting to go social media.. knowing what was going on to no longer be able to speak understandable words and struggling to move the way you wanted to.

How alone you were at the hospital surrounded by doctors and nurses, yet no one you loved when you arrived. How long were you semi functional alone there aware of what was happening before being out on life support? Sure, you were given pain medication in case there was any pain. That we don’t know if there was. You were pumped high. The confusion those drugs they gave you, some which some people love to take to get high. Being high on drugs was never your thing.

Did you know we were there? To watch your final breaths. I know you couldn’t see us, your eyes were closed. Watering little drops from the corners.

To be continued… when I can stop crying.