5 reasons more Americans are cutting off their own parents, according to psychologist

Dr. Richard L. Blake, a psychologist and author based in Austin, Texas, has identified five primary factors that frequently contribute to the breakdown of family relationships.

Estrangement between family members is becoming increasingly common, prompting experts to examine the underlying causes of these divisions.

The years-long estrangement of NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers from his family—which reportedly concluded recently following a reconciliation with his parents—has sparked renewed public curiosity regarding why some relatives choose to permanently sever ties.

A 2025 YouGov survey revealed that 38% of American adults are currently estranged from at least one family member, whether it be a sibling, parent, child, or grandparent.

Drawing from his research and professional experience in the field of family estrangement, Dr. Richard L. Blake shared five specific factors that he believes often lead to fractured family dynamics.

No. 1: Political and value differences

A long-term study involving over 2,000 mother-adult child relationships identified “value dissimilarity” as a major predictor of estrangement, indicating that conflicting beliefs can significantly drive family rifts.

“That could be political values, that could be gender ideology,” Blake told Fox News Digital.

“There were people more likely to cut off someone for having a different opinion than for people who have done serious violent crimes,” he said. “So certainly, political differences are a big problem.”

High levels of social media consumption have been associated with deteriorating parent-child bonds. Research involving nearly 9,800 teenagers found that spending more than two hours daily on social media correlated with a significantly higher likelihood of negative relationships with one or both parents.

Blake suggests that social media may normalize the act of cutting off family by exposing users to viral “no contact” content and fostering what he terms “word-of-mouth mimicry.”

“Someone might see a video on TikTok — ‘I cut off my parents, and I’m much happier now. They were toxic narcissistic boundary crossers. And now I’m great,'” he said. “And people mimic that. Or they think, ‘Oh, this person’s getting a lot of attention.'”

While he noted that no long-term studies have definitively proven an increase in these behaviors, he added that “that doesn’t mean absence of evidence isn’t evidence of absence.”

According to Blake, society has transitioned away from a “dignity culture” toward one that prioritizes “victim culture.”

“So now it’s a race to the bottom,” he said. “If you don’t have enough victim status because of the way you were born, you can create a victim status by suggesting your parents abused you or neglected you … and therefore you have value, a reason to cut them off.”

The expert also highlighted the influence of “therapy culture,” arguing that shifting perspectives on trauma and abuse have altered how some individuals perceive their relationships with their parents.

“Another justification is, ‘I cut off my parents to protect my mental health’ — and this is a sort of false belief,” he told Fox News Digital. “There is this huge bias that if you’re struggling in your adult life, it must be because your parents did something they shouldn’t or didn’t do something.”

Blake maintained that family connections remain among the most effective protective factors for mental health.

“Families are one of the most evidence-based buffers against mental illness,” he said. “There’s this myth that families are not important.”

The psychologist referenced a well-known Minnesota study of adopted twins, which discovered that twins often shared more traits with their biological parents than with the adoptive parents who raised them.

He also cited a 2024 study led by German sociologist Karsten Hank, which found that adults estranged from their parents or siblings reported lower life satisfaction and higher levels of depressive symptoms compared to those who maintained those family ties.

“So it seems like it’s certainly a health event for parents who get cut off, and it’s probably a negative health event for the kids or the adult children who are doing the cutoff,” he said. “It’s this lie they’re getting sold on social media: ‘Cut off your parents and your mental health will be better.’”

No. 4: Communication breakdowns

The manner in which families handle conflict can dictate whether a disagreement escalates into permanent estrangement.

He emphasized the importance of listening first, noting that techniques similar to “hostage negotiation” can be effective in these situations.

“[That means] listening to the other person and then repeating back what they said as you understood it and validating that … and then waiting until that person’s really finished before you give your side of it.”

Blake also pointed to the prevalence of “moralized language,” or “therapy words” directed at parents — “such as abuse, toxic, boundaries, narcissists, gaslighting.”

“When you use moralized language like that, compromise becomes far more difficult,” he said.

“So I tell parents to pause before they really react … and then say back, ‘Okay, you’ve used the word toxic. Can you describe the behavior or behaviors that you consider to be toxic?’ Then you’re dealing with facts and events, rather than who’s a better person or who’s the worst person.”

The psychologist also suggests utilizing “I” statements instead of “you” statements, while avoiding absolute terms like “always” and “never.”

Finally, Blake noted that external factors — such as romantic partners and changing parenting philosophies — can contribute to family estrangement.

He observed that these outside influences can vary by gender, with romantic partners often exerting a greater influence on men.

As an example, Blake pointed to public figures such as Brooklyn Beckham and Prince Harry, suggesting that romantic partners can sometimes shape how individuals view their family connections.

Differing parenting philosophies may also create tension, as adult children and grandparents sometimes clash over child-rearing practices.

“Parenting styles are obviously different, and they’ve changed a lot over the last few years,” he said.

“If you look at the outcomes of the gentle parenting or the permissive parenting that we’ve slipped into, we have the most mentally ill generation in history, the least fit for adulthood,” Blake suggested. “Perhaps we should be learning from our grandparents more than the therapists.”